monkeychatter

the ANT PROJECT

Hank had his first big-time science project this year, in 4th grade. He had to choose a topic, think about the hypothesis, gather data, note the results and his conclusion. For his topic, he set out to find what type of sugar black ants preferred, from 5 different ones, all “dry” in nature.

He ended up coming home with the first place trophy, for his class.

Thank goodness he spent all those hours scrap booking with his grandma & paper macheing Halloween costumes with his mom.   Knowing how to glue paper on a board while paying attention to parallel lines A-N-D having a knack for wrapping styrofoam balls in wallpaper paste & newspaper ribbons  paid off with a trophy to add to his case.

Well done Sir-Small-Hall.

Hopefully you learned that hard work pays off…but next time, don’t complain so dang much during the process!

“Happy trails, Grandpa Jim.” ~ Hank

 

No one will EVER sport the fabulously-fashionable combo of plaids & stripes, like you.

much love.

“♥”

J, W & H

Happy Birthday to my darlin’ nephew with the perfectly round head.

He’s always had the roundest of heads.

He had the roundest baby head.

But now he’s officially a teenager.

And his head is still round.

Where did the time go?

We gave him a 12 pack of long necks to celebrate.

No worries, it was only soda.

And just to keep him grounded in ‘kidville’,  we gave him Silly Putty too.

Suggested:  Read the following in a cowboy-twang accent-

think John Wayne in the Searchers and you’ll do just fine.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haaaaaaw!

A BIG thanks is goin’ out to Miss Claire and the crew  over at the Phoenix New Times Culture blog,   Jackalope Ranch.  She posted some mighty fine words about  Monkey Chatter and we think that’s just grand!

I’m a native Arizonan so that makes me sort of an expert on Jackalopes.

Jackalopes are cool.

So check this one out:

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/jackalope/2010/07/whats_with_all_the_monkey_chat.php

And just in case you hail from the East Coast & haven’t a CLUE what a jackalope is, check this out:

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/tall-tales/jackalope.html

Giddy up & good night!

recipe for a happy Monday:
a percolated pot of Chock Full o’ Nuts & Pet Clark.

…of course I won’t be sitting at home watching YouTube videos (Monday morning) & drinking from my percolator…but I would if I could & you SHOULD if you can!

Since the great loss of my-little-pony, ELVIS, Boscoe (his litter mate) has been terribly lonely.  He would lay in the front yard, staring off down the street, waiting on something or someone to come running back to him.  It was heartbreaking.  So I started the process of finding a dog to adopt, a buddy for Boscoe.  I knew there wasn’t a dog on the planet that would come close to Mr. Big Stuff but Boscoe needed a friend.  Fast forward to now.  We found him a buddy.  We call her Tulip, and June Bug.

I spotted her right when I walked into the first house of kennels.  But immediately  told myself  “oh be realistic, she looks just like Boscoe & Elvis…and she’s too young”.  But Hank—who was walking right behind me—would have NO PART of my “move along & pay her no mind”  thought.

“Moooooom, look at this one.  She’s sooooooooooo cuuuuuuute…can we get her?”

“PLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSE  mom, can we?”

Of course it was ultimately up to  Boscoe.

So we took Boscoe on a road trip to meet Tulip.  Of course he WAS terribly lonely and would have probably welcomed a wolverine into our home.  He had no idea that  somewhere in her dna, there is likely a bit of  “wolverine”.

I fondly refer to her as a hell cat.

And she’s just swell.

She’s VERY clean & has VERY short hair.

She loves to take showers.   She waits until I open the door then she jumps in and waits for a shampoo.

She thinks it’s a doggy salon designed just for HER.

She has these wonderful hound lips.

Big, saggy lips.

Sometimes they get caught inside her mouth, sort of turning them inside out,  which makes

her look like a little old man who has removed his dentures.

Look at Boscoe back there, my sweet old guy

who ALWAYS tries to avoid the paparazzi.

He’s trying his hardest to disappear in to the wall.

“oh look how cute I am, is it o.k. if I just lie here… on this shaggy-bean-bag-thing?

I promise not to leave any hair or pet dander on it…I am cute, don’t you think?”

We don’t know what breed she is.  Like most dogs at the Humane Society, she was described as “Labrador mix”.

She’s a mutt, that’s all I am sure of.

And mutts are my favorite breed of dog!

 
YES, that’s right.

Weezer strudel.

Just WHO is the master mind behind this creation?

The smallest “Hall” in the house, Hank.

He will occasionally, but always creatively make his own breakfast (if you call a toaster strudel “breakfast”) but this particular morning yielded a creation rivaling all others in the “fancy department” for his morning meal.

Keep up the creative work there, small Hall!

You make your momma proud!

My grandfather  returned home from World War II.  He returned home from the Battle of the Bulge.  He returned home to my grandmother.    Many were not as blessed.  Too many.  They gave all for this great country  which we are blessed to call home.  This great country too many take for granted.  Even those who made it home  paid a price that few can even imagine.  In what they saw-in the hells of war.

My grandfather  is MY hero.  I have looked up to him my entire life…from toddling to pig tails to present.  I thank the Lord that my grandfather returned home.

I thank every soldier who has given a part of his life to defend this great country.  It would be but a mere shadow of what it is today-if not for their unwavering devotion.

I thank you all.

For you all gave.

And some gave all.

God bless you.

In photograph from left to right: my grandfather Charles,  my grandmother Dottie  & my great uncle Eugene. Taken in the Summer of 1944

Today I spent over 8 hours listening to Chris Issak…and I don’t think I heard the same tune twice.   Damn he’s good.  Now I’m not suggesting  there is any human walking the planet that DOESN’T know and adore him…but just in case, check him out.

http://www.chrisisaak.com/

disclaimer:  doodle above by Mr. Isaak—I don’t THINK he would mind me posting it or using it…I mean it IS A SOCK puppet on his hand  & this IS A SOCK monkey site…let me know if I am off base here  ;)  .

It’s  Mother’s Day.  It’s also the 2nd week of crushing sadness…life without my giant friend Elvis-The Wonder Dog.     Oh how I miss him.  Sigh.

Today we celebrated his life.  This afternoon, as the sun dropped low in the West, my family & I remembered our sweet hound in a memorial hopefully befitting his amazing-ness.   We quietly walked about our property and sprinkled that sweet King-Hound in all of his favorite places.  Under the acacia tree, in the corners of the front lawn, on the back lawn, near the jacaranda.  And then, as a perfect breeze began to blow, we counted to 3 & tossed ash to the wind as we watched the beautiful giant white clouds blow by.  Hank read something I had written about Elvis…then we laid on the lawn,  listening to music & watching the clouds drift by.

Perfectly befitting his one-of-a-kind style, a giant red-heart shaped balloon drifted overhead, from someplace unknown.    It made me smile.   He’s still with me.   ♥

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I knew that I would miss you.  I knew that if the day came & I had to live my life without you by my side, my heart would break.  But I didn’t know how much I would miss you or how broken my heart would be.

I’m lost without you big fellow.

My gentle giant.

My little pony.

Super Dog.

Elvis-the-Wonder-Dog.

Mr. Bacon Lips.

Dream Boy.

My black bear.

Sweet Thing.

Baron Von Love Hound.

Those all pale in comparison of who you really are,  the sweetest creature I have ever known.

Thanks for all you gave.

Thanks for always being there.

Thanks for letting me scratch your velvety ears.

Thanks for wagging-not just your tail-but your entire giant body.

Thanks for ALWAYS having time for me & NEVER turning away.

Thanks for being strong, so strong.

Thanks for laughing with me in your special dog-way.

Thanks for speaking my language.

You treated me like I was a rock star.  I don’t even SING worth a damn but you’d never let me know it.

Whenever I see your sweet face I will still shout “Gorgeous!  Where ya’ been all my life!?”

My dear, sweet friend…I love you with all of my heart.  And I miss you clear down to my soul.

Yours very truly,

♥-x-o

me.

It’s actually quite beautiful.

This weekend we hit the desert, all in the name of (4th grade) science.  We were on a search for ants.  Specifically, black ones.  They had to be black.  Of course they did.  Because black ants can’t be bought.  At least not that I could find.  Red ants, that’s another story.  Think Uncle Milton’s Ant Farm.  They sell red ants.

Yes, on the internet you can find MOST things.

But not black ants.

So Hank & I followed  a tip given to us by the nice gentleman at the chemistry supply store & we headed to the desert.  South Mountain, to be exact.  We were told what to look for & that included a  “mound”.

A “large mound” (something girls might refer to as “ant hill’).

A mound we never found.

BUT, after walking in the heat for what seemed like hours, yours truly, yep, it was me, the girl in the group (all that Animal Planet viewing paid off—thank you Jeff Corwin!) spotted an area on the ground that was oddly “clean”—a strange circular sandy base—except there was no “mound”—there was a hole.

Nonetheless, something about it looked promising.  Ants are neat nicks, they’re fastidious & tidy.  They are borderline OCD & this area just looked too clean to be the home of  anything but an insect with OCD.   I hollered to the boys & they came running.

And then they poked a stick at it.

Sure enough, a black ant came running out.  Then we poured a  little Gatorade down the hole & that was all she wrote.

Out they came, hundreds of large black ants.

So we  filled Hank’s petri dishes with ants.

…and then we danced.

In the fanciest place we could find, in Scorpion Gulch, we danced.

We danced to celebrate the victory of our ant search.

It was a good day for science.

the end.

If only.

If only I had a “do over” moment. I would start a girl band dedicated to the oh-so-sweet sounds of the Emperor of Easy.

(Not sure if that would be BEFORE or after the honky-tonkin’ sounds of Ms. Loretta Lynn BUT Andy is more my type, if you catch my drift.)

You won’t be able to watch this vid’ without developing your own crush on this oh-so-cool one. And I assure you, your heart will be HAPPY…(and your hairs will be tingly).

You gotta’ love the la-la-la’s at around 2:40. And PB&J on “brown”. I would SO eat a PB&J with Andy.

Thanks Andy.

…and THANKS Pet.

Wishing you all a truly-splendid Easter.

Yesterday I initiated my newest cooking gadget.

A shiny new deep fryer.

I made my first batch of doughnuts.

I’ll even admit that I am not a doughnut “fan”.

I don’t CRAVE doughnuts.

I don’t NEED doughnuts.

The males in my house…they CRAVE & NEED doughnuts.

This dough though, it’s another story—it’s made ME a believer in the doughnut.

Fry up this dough & you’ve got pure magic.

crispy on the outside, pure tenderness on the inside.

flecked with fresh grated nutmeg & cinnamon.

the perfect deep fried buttermilk doughnut.

Pure Magic.

In all the excitement of getting this new frying-gadget, I forgot to pick up a doughnut cutter. 

BIG oops. 

Improvising, I used my round cookie cutters.  Not sure it was such a great idea as this dough was tender, very tender to the touch.  Almost immovable without tearing.  MY advice, if you’re going to make them, get yourself a doughnut cutter.

the recipe:

DOUGHNUTS

2 cups buttermilk

2 large eggs, beaten

1 cup granulated sugar

5 cups sifted flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon nutmeg, freshly grated, if you’ve got it

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 cup butter, melted

Combine the buttermilk, eggs & sugar-set aside

Mix together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, nutmeg & cinnamon.  Add the buttermilk mixture to the dry ingredients & stir.  Stir in melted butter & knead until a soft dough forms

On a lightly floured work surface, roll out dough to about 1/4″ thickness.  Cut with a 2 1/2″ or larger doughnut cutter.  Drop into 375 degree oil for about 1 minute per side, until golden brown.

GLAZE

3 cups powdered sugar

1 Tablespoon butter, softened

1/2 teaspoon real vanilla

small amount of milk, for thinning.

Dip in powdered sugar glaze.

Combine powdered sugar, margarine & vanilla in a mixing bowl.  mix well then add just enough milk to bring the mixture to a consistency you are happy with.  A thinner consistency will allow you to drizzle the glaze over your doughnuts while a thicker glaze will be more of a frosting.

makes approx. 3 dozen

ALEX CHILTON
December 28, 1950~March 17, 2010

 
Check this out.  Inside  Randy Slack’s studio—Legend City.

This is his grandmother’s COMPLETELY INTACT living room.

Each year at Christmastime, he sets up her aluminum Christmas tree (in this VERY living room) and has the family over.

This is genius on many levels.

And it makes for a genuinely warm & fuzzy moment.

That Slack, he’s truly an artist.

Check him out here.
 

No-no…don’t worry. It’s not like flea & tick season or anything close to that.   It’s little league season.

And the Sand Gnats…that’s OUR TEAM.

Yesterday was the BIG day. The first game of  the year.

(insert smiley face here.)

Baseball makes me happy.

Especially the little Sand Gnats. Even the name is growing on me. Sure, it’s not as cool as that team name “the Hot Rods” but it’s not like you get to choose the team name.   The players however, they were chosen. Well chosen.

And all the Gnats did a grand job!

I do have to admit,  I was a little miffed at  that ump we had.  I mean what adult would steal 15 minutes—AN ENTIRE INNING—from a bunch of 9 & 10 year olds?  Seriously, who would do that?  Our game was scheduled  to start at 4:30 (for 6 innings or 90 minutes, whichever comes first) yet started around 4:45.  The ump STILL ended it at 6:00 pm.  Then as what seemed like EVERYONE from BOTH TEAMS started asking him why & questioning him on time—even after HE ADMITTED he cut the game short—he turned his back & walked away.  Cheap shot.  Stealing time from the bats of boys…in their FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON.  That’s not cool Mr. Ump.  Not cool at all.

But baseball, it still makes me happy.

Strong work boys!

TALENTS?

Man…

he’s got ‘em!

He’s clever.

He’s witty.

He’s wise.

 
AND, he can paint.   Like nobody’s business, THIS GUY can paint.

Of course I am speaking of the one and only,  David Dauncey.

Mr. Dauncey hails from Bromsgrove (that’s in England) and is a self-proclaimed soccer obsessive. David currently calls Phoenix (that’s in Arizona)  his home,  where he resides with his lovely bride Judi & their 2 delightful kids.

Happily I can say I know David and honestly I can add that he’s one of my FAVORITE painters.

~

Mr. Dauncey has been kind enough to answer a few questions for me,   so you can all get to know him a wee bit better.

1. Name something from your ‘top 5 favorite foods’ list.

i do like the burrito.

2. What’s your favorite place (so far) to visit in the U S of A?

New York.

3. What are some or what is one of your fondest memories?

smells.   cut grass,  oncoming rain,  cow-shit smell wafting over the fields,   public transport fumes,  White linen perfume that my mom wore.

4. Where did you meet your lovely wife?

front desk of an art company. I felt like I fell for her a bit right away.

5. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Blizzards with chunks in them, Oreo is nice, Snickers too.

6. What do you drive?

‘99 Nissan Pathfinder,66 Ford truck (occasionally)

7. Do you have any PETS?

Yes, Edison and Millie (dogs) and Squeaky and Minge (cats)

8. Do you have any pet peeves?

People who dump their ashtrays in the street, people who walk cross busy streets really slowly, loud cellphone talkers, Argentinian soccer players, poor coffee that I have paid for.

9. Have you ever changed a flat tire?

Yes, a few.

10. Are you a nighttime guy or a morning man?

Lately a bit of both,but mainly morning.

11. Share with us, a  favorite quote or two.

“One of us isn’t as smart as all of us.” or,  “Take what is yours.”

12. Can you choose a local favorite restaurant?
(if this is tough you can pick more than one)

Pepe’s, Thai Rama.

13. Do you have one movie you’ve seen that stands above all others as TOP NOTCH…why?

The Deer Hunter. I watched it when I was about 13 and it put me through a whole lot of emotions.

14. What’s the largest size painting you’ve ever done?

15. Do you have any upcoming shows so the folks can check out your fabulous-ness?

Showing at Monorchid in November with James Angel and Randy Slack.

(TRUST ME, this will be a triple dose of WOWIE KAZOWIE!  DO—NOT—MISS—THIS show! )

Here’s a sampling of  Dauncey’s  work.

These hang in the Hall+Ford home and although it would surely be

against the advice of the Phoenix Fire Department

I would find it hard not to spend a few moments longer in my burning ranch,

just to rescue these beauties.

above is an actual photo of Hank and

below,  Dauncey’s painted version of that photo image.

Perfection!

…and this post wouldn’t be complete without introducing the lovelies in David’s life, Ruby & Judi

…and Dave’s boy Jack, he’s lovely too!

(Jack’s the kid on the left, not the ham hock on the right.)

David Dauncey can be reached via email @  ddauncey68@yahoo.com

 
If you’re on Facebook, be sure to check out  “INTRODUCING DAVID DAUNCEY”, a group celebrating the many talents of  this praise worthy local painter!

You’re the MAN Davey, you’re the man!

Meet Mr. Bacon Lips.

He’s the king of dogs.

For real.

You knoooooooow you want him…BUT,  you can’t have him.

He’s  mine.

Mine ALL MINE!

Leave it to Avon to whip up a masterfully-kitschy designed after shave decanter of each. I do believe the Deep Woods fragrance smells even more regal, more manly (if possible) when poured from a gilded presidential vessel.

Happy birthday to you Mr. Washington & Mr. Lincoln!

…and NO ONE croons it better than the hunk-o-hunk-o-burnin’-love.

(Don’t miss the end of this video, for an ultra-deluxe “throwing of the claw”.)

Admittedly I have a ‘problem’ with my t-shirt addiction.  Luckily I can medicate my problem with a home remedy.

My groom & I print tees…whatever tees you need, we print ‘em.  Own a plumbing biz…need shirts?  We can do it.  Have a softball team…need jerseys?   We can do it.   From design to printing to packaging, billing & delivery, we TWO crank it out—-from start to finish, under the watchful eye of Hank, (you know Hank, our 10 year old -’only child’ -son) who is always telling us what we “should do the next time”.

My groom however has taken it one step beyond that small family owned business & opened a cyber shop of cotton goodness.  It’s called Tangible Threads.   Here are a few of my favorites.

Tangible threads, a locally owned & operated tee shirt biz…click on the girl with the accordion to visit the Tangible Threads site & be sure to join the Tangible Threads “fan club” on Facebook!

…and remember, for every dollar you spend with a local company, .45 cents stays in the state…when you shop at a ‘big box’ retailer, that amount drops to just 13 cents.  So remember—SHOP LOCAL Arizona!

Sandwiches.  Something makes me smirk when I hear that word.  Not sure why but it’s a funny little word (to me).  But THIS sandwich, well there’s nothing funny about it—-it’s a flavor packed power house & it’s oh-so-simple.

The ham & Swiss with marinated veggies.

Make a simple vinaigrette with a good olive oil, vinegar (I use red wine), salt, pepper, dried basil & oregano.  You can make it to YOUR taste…mix it together, taste it & tweak it as needed.

Be SURE not to slice your veggies too thin or the marinade will break them down to a veggie mush.

I use red onions, tomato & cucumber but you could add carrots, zuchini, red or green peppers, the list is endless & you could leave out the meat & make a cheese only version.

Place the veggies in a container with a GOOD SEAL, pour your vinaigrette concoction over them, seal up the vessel & give it a good shake & twirl until all veggies are coated…then put in the fridge to marinate.  I’d leave it a minimum of an hour but you can leave it as long as a day…if you can wait that long.

Then break your bread & load up your sandwich.  My favorite is Boar’s Head ham & Swiss but you can use anything & any brand…the veggies will make even mediocre brands of these staples taste heavenly.  I promise.

mmmmmmmm, beautiful.

It helps speed up the process if you  have a mandolin…but it’s not necessary.  It does make nice, even-thickness cuttings of your veggies & it’s speedy to boot.  Mine is old & was very inexpensive, around $20…it’s a madman in the kitchen—–proof you don’t need to spend $100 and up for a fancier version.

For more than half my life,  I have enjoyed the Middle Eastern Bakery & Deli,  just around the corner from my house.  I sing her praises by referrals, whenever I get the chance.  Right now, I feel the need to sing her praises in written format.  We’re in a terrible economic “situation”  and our local small business are surely experiencing a notable amount of financial pain.   This place is economical so if you are cutting back on eating out, trying to save a few bucks, you love to support the local economy and live for perfectly spiced kabobs, hummus, falafel or baba ganouj, you really MUST visit this local favorite.

Our plan this afternoon was to hit up the antique store on the corner, in hopes they still had that economical pair of vintage cowboy boots, so we could snag them for Hank’s upcoming Doc Holiday costume.  But woe is me, the boots were gone.

We didn’t plan on stopping in Middle Eastern Bakery & Deli  this afternoon (although gyros & falafels are ALWAYS on my radar)—–but I caved at Hank’s request for a gyro, a quick fix for dinner AND I am fresh out of tahini, which I could pick up in their grocery area.

A charming gentleman named Isam was working this afternoon.  As I placed my grocery purchases on the counter to ring up and added 2 gyros, Isam asked what we’d like to drink.  He ran down the list of beverages, (in a manner  only someone who loves their job can do) “freshly made iced tea”,  “freshly made BEST OF lemonade” and other fountain favorites.  But wait—did he say lemonade?   Who doesn’t LOVE lemonade?  Especially THIS lemonade.    It’s made with rose water & honey.

It was the winner of New Times Best of…2009

And it is, like nothing else on the planet.  Unless the planet you are speaking of is Planet Divine.

Describing it would not do it justice.

It’s something your taste buds need to experience.

It’s my new favorite beverage.

It made my heart pound.

And now on to the gyro.

This was not your run of the mill gyro, it was a historic moment in gyro experiences.  Historic in nature simply because it was the FIRST time Hank actually left the lettuce & tomato on & ate it as is!  Even after the foundation of said gyro suffered a catastrophic quake, falling to pieces in the tray it arrived in, we improvised, cutting it up and he then ate it like a salad.

LETTUCE AND ALL.

That—-my friends—is a historical moment.   Just as my head stopped spinning from this unreal experience, Hank informed me “I am going to  start eating salads.” The spinning resumed.  We’ll just wait & see how that works out.

While dining we were entertained with conversations about Lawrence of Arabia & the television up high in the corner playing Arabic music videos & belly dancing on orbit showtime tv.

Isam came out to check on us.  We shared Hank’s obsession with Lawrence of Arabia & he shared funny stories of the early 60’s when he first arrived in America…and camels.

If I had to pick my TOP 10 local favorite restaurants,  THIS IS ONE.

Go here.

Experience it.

Breathe in the fragrant atmosphere & taste the spices of somewhere far, far away.

You’ll wish you would have sooner, so don’t wait.

And tell Isam we said hello.

rescued from a certain doom…no longer destined to be land fill.

I know, I know.

It’s always about food with me, BUT…I have a hankerin’ for some Thanksgivin’ vittles.

Not so much the turkey part but everything else that goes along for the ride.

And yea though I am small, I can put away the grub.

Well, not as much as the tall guy (he went back for seconds) but I don’t do so bad for bein’ so “small-ish”.  I finished it all-except the roll-which I later I made into a tiny,  “snack-ish” sandwich.

Waste not, want not!

Thanksgiving, in mom’s kitchen.

So BIG DEAL if he has 4 legs & he sheds.  He’s still the most unconditional love a girl could ask for.

He is “Mr. Understanding”.  Mr. Cool, Calm & Collected.

He never asks questions, complains about what’s for dinner or makes lots of noise when I feel a need for peace and silence.  And he never seems to be more than 5 feet from wherever I am.

Yes, I’m in love with all 110 pounds of him.

My giant sweet black pony-mutt, Elvis.

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